Friday, 1 March 2013

a b o u t t o m a r r y ^ - ^ i learn something extra - family management and parenting

1st day 23feb2013
i learn about marriage!
marriage is a contract between a man and woman that allows both of them to enjoy each others that we can continue human protect the follow the sunnah..and to get happiness and tranquility among each others.

criteria of choosing a spouse (wife)
1. beauty
2. money/wealth
3. family
4. deen (practicing the deen)

and ustaz said, marry the women who are kind heart and love kids so that she can make you feel peaceful :p for man, there are tips for u to know ustaz said,look at their family.see how they interact and communicate each the mother act with the father and how the mother act with others kids because she might learn from her mother.

tara~now,this is for girl! :p

criteria in choosing a spouse (husband)
1. deen (practicing the deen)
2. ethical
3. financial ability
4. able to work

my ustaz said, he might be not perfect but he'll be perfect when his wife perfect him (remember,there are no perfect man and women in this world) ok? :p
when he angry, calm him not speak any (oh my lion is coming~ :p)
when he happy, laugh with him
when he sad, cry with him
when he speak, listen to him
bla bla bla~ act good to him and he'll act good to you

2nd day 1march2013
marriage in islam

ustaz said, don't marry with someone u doesn't know who she/he is.once u know who they are,and they want marry u.make these two things
1. istikarah (giving & guidance) 
2. istisharah (consultation) - consult with family and someone you trust

and then i learned about the pillars of marriage
1. ijab & kabul (proposal & acceptance)
2. al-waliy (father/grandfather/brother/uncle of father side/uncle of mother side/imam/kadi/any practicing           muslim)
3. the two muslim witnesses
4. al-mahr (dowry) and the mahr must be easy for the man to pay it.

islam is soo..beautiful kan.islam is always put women at the hight islam, man give the dowry for the women while the others religion, the girls need to give the dowry to the boys O_o and sometime there are cases where the girls are not able to pay the dowry and she owe it until they get married.and the husband 
killed his wife.just because she cant pay it T _ T but in islam,as long as the dowry is not burdening the husband,it is ok then. ^ - ^

and..there are also a conditions of marriage for girls!(see how islam respecting ladies ^ - ^)
girls can put a condition for boys if they want to marry the girl.but..of course it must be reasonable! :)
for example, -no smoking,or do not smoke in front of the wife and the kids, visit her parents at kampung every two months, be her imam every maghrib and subuh,teach her tajwid and so on
or do not kentut in front of her xD haha (ok joking) and then if he is agree, just proceed to the next step

next, the manners of niqah and the sunnah
1. al-khitbah (when the man ask the girl to marry/engangement) 
2. al-walimah (banquet)
3. drum/kompang (to announce about the marriage)- lawful singing are allowed
4. dua' for the spouses
5. sunnah to marry in syawwal
6. solat 2 rakaat 2gether
7. sexual intercost with dua' (to have a good baby and the blessing) 
8. do not tell anyone about the privates between you and your mate

ok, these are what i learn for today.and my ustaz said,once u got a good guy,just stay with him.make him happy :p
(yaa~ *berangan) haha O_o